JOHN MCCAIN'S WEBSITE HAS A VIDEO GAME. LITTLE ELSE CAN BE SAID.
Actually, now that I've saved the American taxpayer over $7.7 billion in wasteful Congressional spending, I think I can afford (heh heh!) to be a little more verbose. Basically, some genius who had a bad, bad flashback to the 1980s created a "Space Invaders" knockoff called "Pork Invaders," in the hopes that cool kids would latch on to John McCain's embrace of tightwad status as a matter of principle. (In fact, I'm a lot less pro-earmarks than that particular bit of flippancy would probably suggest - but that's a discussion for later; I don't want to contaminate this sweet, sweet video game with... um... opinions.) The gameplay is simple, and predictable: instead of aliens, you are defending an unseen homeland, protected only by rather flimsy forts, against flying pigs. Not with wings, of course - they just jerk back and forth in tight formation. All the while, they are launching their assault on fiscal responsibility by - sorry, Mom, I don't think there's another word for this - crapping on you. Crapping little white arrows. Fortunately, if you can dodge the bombardment of pig dung, you can fire back with your veto power. Thank goodness for the floating McCain sign!
Of course, these days no game is complete without a lame educational message. In the case of "Pork Invaders," every time you finish a level (an election? a session of Congress? I must be thinking this through too thoroughly), a factoid pops up about how Barack Obama is a tax-and-spend liberal, and John McCain is the paragon of frugality. (Actually, judging by the innovative cost-cutting measures he's employed on his own campaign, he might well cut the budget as President - as long as you're cool with circumventing some laws and stuff.) By the time I got to the fourth level, I was inexplicably presented with a factoid about Obama's radical proposition that we engage in diplomacy by talking, rather than by national tantrum - I'm guessing that either they ran out of information, or they didn't expect the typical McCain voter to be very good at Space Invaders. In any case, the factoids started repeating after that, which is good, because the very next level, pigs crapped right through my shoddy defenses and onto my valiant Straight Talk Spaceship Express. Too bad - but go give it a play, you might be able to veto some more wasteful spending.
Hat tip to Tapped. Incidentally, Tapped occasionally features Dylan Matthews, a fellow intern from back when Obama had a snowball's chance in hell of winning the Democratic nomination, who will be arriving all young and idealistic-like on Harvard's campus this September. Hooray!